December 7, 2021
Because I knew you, I have been changed for the better!
Two years ago when we were having our staff realignment and I was interviewing for my job, Fr. Thom asked me what I thought the role of the Pastoral Associate was. My answer was, “To love the parishioners”. Well, I guess I loved you all too much and you wore out my heart. Many of you know I have had several health issues in the recent past, and after MUCH prayer, consultation with the clergy and intense prodding from my family, on October 11, 2021, Frs. Larry and Thom accepted my letter announcing my retirement that will take place on December 31, 2021. Only the staff had known and I wanted to keep it that way so everyone could know at the same time, but I guess we have some loose lips!
For 26 years I have ministered in various locations in the Diocese. I could talk about what I’ve done, but a reiteration of my resume is unimportant. What is important is my gratitude to so many, so consider this a thank you and love letter to you all. First, I want to thank my mother who nurtured me in her humble immigrant faith. She taught us, by example, tireless compassion. All the sick and elderly of our family came to our home to live out their final days. As a child, I thought everyone had a bed in their dining room, little did I know we lived the life of hospice under her loving roof. My father, a convert, who took on Catholicism with much parental disapproval, assisted her in providing an open door to all. He and my mother adopted an abandoned teen who he himself, at 14, was an alcoholic. My father showed him what a true father was, what a family is, and that brother is now 73. I also want to thank my sister who showed me the grace of Redemptive Suffering and how to accept long standing illness with dignity. She died at Christmas, 27 years ago and she inspired me to change my career and devote my life to ministry and the bereaved.
Now I must especially thank my husband and children who have shared me with all of you. My husband stood at the bus stop for 36 years so that I could have our one and only car to do my ministry. Many the hours away from them, including the holidays, the treks I have taken them through, they supported my efforts and without them, I am nothing.
To my faithfully departed mentors, Fr. John (Connie) Vojtek, who taught me the simplicity of how to be present, and Sister Margarette Kropinak who guided me through the art of social service, that they may have the eternal reward of everlasting life.
Last, but not least, my thanks to all of you. Your faith, devotion, love, sorrow and gracious acceptance of our collective loss have been such an inspiration and motivation to me. No scholar or program is needed to teach you how to be intentional disciples, you don’t even realize you are beacons of light to so many. God has always put people in my life just when I needed them, even if I didn’t know it. Many times it has been the most unlikely cast of characters. You trusted me. You trusted me with your thoughts, anxieties, complaints, your troubles, your joys, to educate your children and share in your family milestones. Do you know how appreciative and humbled I am of that? I would be arrogant and naïve to think that some of you are not in my fan club, so if I have in any way offended you, I hope you forgive me.
I am who I am because of a family of faith. A family who had room at the table for others. My prayer for you is to nurture your families in our faith. Take on the mantle of tireless compassion for those beyond your neighborhood. Become truly one Parish Family. Make room at the table for those who aren’t from your building! Always looking backwards hinders any movement forward. Support your new Pastor. Give him the chance to forge new and vibrant ideas to lead you, his flock, all closer to the Divine Shepherd.
Those who have known me for a long time, you know how important music is to me. Much of my inspiration comes from sacred music, but, when I least expect it, so does Broadway. One song from Wicked of all things, probably says it best. The title of this letter is from that musical. One verse says: “I’ve heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn, and we are led to those who help us most to grow, if we let them. And we help them in return. Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true, but I know I’m who I am today because I knew you.” Watch the video link and put on the caption option. They sing it so much better than I can say. #OutofOz: “For Good”
God’s blessings to you all.
Bess